The sky is the limit

Today I had a meeting with my Senior Pastor Mike, who is also my supervisor for the internship. We talked about my plans for next year. These are my plans and thoughts.

I’m 22, and even tho I often feel old I am still young. Next year I want to study computer science because it’s something that I am interested in and want to excel in. I’m already working with computers and completing tasks that I shouldn’t be able to because of my lack of knowledge.

Computer Science is 3 years which means I’ll be 25 when I finish. After that, there are so many options I can hardly contain myself. Architecture is one possibility. Film and Media is another.

For Architecture I would probably want to move to Auckland to study in the School of Architecture and Planning. Actually, Film and Media I probably would go to Auckland University with their Department of Film, Television and Media Studies.

I’m a visual person and love all aspects of design. The future is unknown, which makes it exciting. I could do or be anything I want. I’ve made some stupid choices in my life but I’m so grateful that it has not limited the rest of my life.

Hospital Visit

Today (technically yesterday since it’s 1.23am) I went with our Senior Pastor and one of the other interns to see an elderly woman from our church who is in the hospital at the moment. I generally don’t like hospitals. When i was younger I got lost in one while we were visiting my nana who had breast cancer. She died not too long after that visit but i still remember seeing her lying in the bed. I think the last time i saw her she was sleeping…but I can’t be too sure as I was only about 8. The last time I was in the hospital (not including the time I was in A&E) was when we took patients down to the chapel, which was fun but the worse thing for me was walking down the corridors. The feelings were the same as we walked down the corridors this time. I get kind of claustrophobic.

When we got to the lady’s room Mike talked to her and we stood and listened. She made me think of my great-nana. She died 3years ago and was 90-something years old. Even tho she was so old she still acted like she was young. She walked around and I remember the last time I saw her was just before I moved down to Dunedin and she was in a Op Shop shopping. If you were to look at her face you would see how old she is but if you looked in her eyes you could see that she was young inside and still going strong. When I’m that old I want to be strong like that! She still remembered all of us and she use to keep the newspaper articles that I was in. I wish I’d known her better. I didn’t find out that she was Christian until after she had past away. It was at her tangi that I found out. I wish I could’ve asked her questions while she was here, not just about her faith but also about her past. They say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. How many different opportunities have we let slip away? Things we should have said or wish we had said but now can’t? Things we should have done of wish we had done but now can’t? Lost possibilities.

This hospital visit made me realise that life IS short. We can’t just think that we will always have the same opportunities open to us. One day we will be gone…one day our loved ones will die. I’ve realised that God has put me in a place of great influence. I lead a group of young people and I can choose to let them slip into the cracks of this world…get lost in the crowd and end up like every other teenager – broken. Or I can take responsibility. I can step up as a leader and I can lead. I can lead them closer to God and help them to build their lives up with God as their “foundation”. If my young people’s faith was like the elderly woman who lay in bed praising God with a broken hip, gallstones and arthritis then when they
are going through tough times and the world around them is falling apart they would cry out to God and continue to praise Him. The rains will always fall. Persecution will always come.

So, I’m going to make a stand. I’m going to do something. It wont seem like much at first but I need to make sure these girls are walking right. In my late teens I was depressed. Not too long after I turned 18 I thought I’d lost everything and started slitting my wrists. Being a teenager is hard. The pressure. The hormones. Trying to figure out who you are and where you’re going. No wonder there are so many teen suicides.

What have we been doing wrong? Have we been oblivious as they scream for our attention? Have we been sleeping silently while they’ve been crying themselves to sleep? Inside have they been dying as they smile on the outside? Do they wear a mask so people wont see that they are falling apart?

I want to be the ear that chooses to listen, I want to be that shoulder to cry on, but most importantly, I want to be that hand that leads them…

God use me.

Open Learning Class 04/08/08

So we had an open learning class yesterday with Pastor Andrew. He put across the question, “If you were about to die and you had 5mins to preach your last sermon to a bunch of Christians, what would you say?”

To be honest i was stumped…what would i say? “Love God, Obey his teaching and love people”??

After class i was sitting and pondering over the question and a short answer came to my head that made me break out into laughter… “get a mac”…

With my last breath would I tell people that they should get a mac?? well if i had 5mins I’m sure that’s plenty of time to slip it in there somewhere…altho it wouldn’t be the main guts of my message – that would be crazy.

I think the purpose of this exercise is to get us thinking about what we would change if we could go back…our regrets etc.

What would i change?

• I wouldn’t want to be so lazy, i think.
• Look after the environment better
• Spend more time with family
• Spend less time working and more time with friends
• Spend more time studying and learning
• Read Bible and pray more
  …I’m sure there is more but I can’t think of it right now…

During this class Andrew and I spent some time discussing the Dark Knight. He didn’t like it, I did. So, it turned out to be a really interesting discussion. Tabitha made a comment at the end of class that we should read more books…this annoyed me! I read books…just not fantasy books. I’d rather watch a movie than read a book about the movie. Everything is right in front of you and you can see the skill and talent used to put it all together. I’m always left in awe at the special effects, camera techniques and other magical things.

As each day goes passed I amaze myself at how geeky I really am…it’s always been hidden inside… I have a profile on facebook, myspace, bebo, friendster, hisholyspace, hi5, oldfriends, purevolume, youtube, godtube, amplifier, eventful, blogspot, multiply, del.icio.us, digg it, flickr, photobucket, shutterfly, 431 club (NZ cricket), pogo, neopets, DSE, thinkgeek, amazon, trademe, driverguide, font trader…and more…hmm…maybe i should stop joining stuff…